Why I’m Quitting THC:
- Tired of dead eyes
- Increases lust and propensity to sin
- Sick of feeling fatter than I should be
- Sick of always being tired
- I don’t need moments of genius… I need consistent work
- I’m abusing it to escape the moment. I need to be in the moment.
- My THC use is not becoming of a man on a mission and a purpose from God
- It’s a lie from the enemy that I’m “better” on weed
- Weed makes you feel comfortable. You need to be UNCOMFORTABLE.
August 13, 2024
11:00PM
10mg THC Edible before bed
August 14, 2024
11:00AM (12 hours)
Feel good… struggling with getting productive. Seeking distractions. Wanted extra coffee.
1:15PM (14 hours)
Just trying to find ways to be productive… took a 10mg Adderall to focus my mind. Start listening to Rampue / Deep House.
2:19PM (15 hours)
Lots of thoughts coming out of my mind but it doesn’t make me want to work — just going along with it and writing notes. I don’t feel stressed but I wish I could get into my work. Enjoying the process for now. As long as I’m not distracted on news and social media, it’s okay to get lost in writing and journalling.
2:26PM
I’m thinking it would be a good idea to cut out all the processed crap from my diet. No more diet sodas. No more seed oils. No more cheap ramen. No bread. Real veggies. Real meat. Eggs. Healthy stuff only. Time to go ALL IN!
2:33PM
It feels good to think about quitting weed and being drug-free. I’ve gone back and forth so many times. But I need to kill this. I need to remove this from my life. Time to stop listening to the lies of the enemy. Time to stop living in this delusion. Rely only on God!
5:08PM (18 hours)
Getting locked in on some minor projects and enjoying the freedom of getting my thoughts out. I feel like I’m wasting time but I’ll give myself some grace. The difference really is in setting a deadline. With deadlines, I can power thru and do some truly amazing things. Without, I can waste an insane amount of time doing nothing. I feel a pull to be productive and to be creative (should I make a podcast?). No THC withdrawals yet but the hardest parts will be in the next 5-6 hours. So far, no appetite which is nice.
06:57PM (20 hours)
No weed cravings. Having a protein shake and some mixed veggies to break my fast. Took Samson for a walk and trying to get lost in crafting new ads but it’s not working.
09:39PM (22 hours)
No food cravings at all. No real desire to smoke weed at this moment. Haven’t been that productive today but I did get some things done. Feeling like going to the gym and lifting weights and sweating a bit. Then I’ll go to bed and hopefully get some good sleep without feeling tempted at all. Praise God!
11:06PM (24 hours)
Did a light workout at the gym and some sauna and steam room. Felt good but started to have some negative thoughts regarding where I’m at in life and figuring out the plan ahead.
August 15, 2024
12:32AM (25 hours)
Spent some time writing out some of my negative thoughts. I feel a sadness and anger within me… not sure what it is. Thoughts that I’ve wasted my life. Thoughts that others are doing much better than me. These thoughts conflict with the truth of God’s plan and the joy of my salvation. It was good to write the thoughts out while they’re raw.
08:10AM (33 hours)
Up earlier today and feel good. I’ll feel better when I get some good work done today. It’s important that I use this extra energy to get my work back on track. Weight is down 8 pounds since yesterday morning. Appetite is still quite low.
09:33AM (34 hours)
Feeling good after my Bible reading and worship. I find that I’m most unhappy when I assess myself according to the world’s measure. This creates in me lots of negative thoughts that cause me to feel pain, anxiety, depression and sadness . I am not of this world. It’s my ego that wants to win in the world. It’s my ego that wants the glory. My confidence must be in Christ… he is the source of every good thing. He is my hope and salvation. I trust in Him.
August 16, 2024
09:24AM (58 hours)
I feel good! Weight is 176.6lbs this morning. I don’t feel AS hungry as usual. Slept great and actually had some memorable dreams. I felt the pull of lust late last night but I did not indulge. It feels nice to not be addicted but I’ve definitely filled the void of dopamine with more social media and YouTube. I’m going to be patient and see where things end up — I know I can be productive when I NEED to be and I trust in that. I just don’t want to get too comfortable with this rhythm of not getting my work done and seeking distractions. I suppose if I’m learning new things and studying what I’m interested in, it’s not all wasted. I think my dealings with “friends” lately has really messed up my confidence with content production. I’m seeking validation from people that don’t like me. I need to become oblivious to what others think. Be willing to lose any “friend” that doesn’t like me. I can’t keep seeking approval from people. That is not my commission. That is not the spirit God gave me. Praise God!